dusk

I tell him I care about him and I really mean it. He gives a sad, cryptic smile and walks away from me.

The road is darkening and the sun is dipping below the treeline, outlining its spires. Lights are glowing through windows, plates are being set on tables, grace is said through silent lips. My pace slows and my eyes fasten to the concrete in front of me. I sit down. On the sidewalk. Cars begin to pass, its inhabitants glancing at me and then back at the road.

Where had it gone wrong? I can feel the pressure build in my chest and spread down my arms and legs. The tears balance in the corners of my eyes, waiting for permission. I bring my hands to my eyes and wipe them away. I don't cry. You don't cry. 

The hardest thing in the world is to see opportunity open, only to have it close with such finality. Maybe there is something else eventually, later. I have to believe there is. But right now, it's the end. 

I shuffle my feet together in a small mound of dirt. My head bows. It's dark now. The lights on the street casting shadows and the coolness of night settling on my exposed arms. I stand, wiping the nothingness from the sidewalk off my clothes.

I say a prayer in my mind and walk to my house down the street.