I can't seem to find it in me to journal nowadays. I have these words inside, needing to be poured out onto a page - any page, but the thought of opening up my journal seems daunting. I don't know why. I have been graduated for almost a month now. I'm in a state of limbo and honestly, completely unsure of what my next step will be.
I've had big decisions in my life before. Where to go to college, what to major in, what to do after college. Big decisions that would effect the trajectory of my life. These are so anxiety-inducing. I wish they weren't, but they are.
This is probably one of the biggest decisions I've ever made. Because, depending on where I end up, I could be there for several years. In other words, if I end up on X place, I'd be setting down roots. I'd be making friends, pursuing hobbies, furthering my education, and maybe even meeting the man I'll marry. Is that even possible?
God, what will I be doing? What should I do? What do I want to do?
I've even told people that there's no such thing as the "only" way to do something. You make a decision and by surely, God can use it. I remember how I went to Australia and how mightily God was in that time. I'm still awed by it. He can do something like that again. Yes, He can.
These are just a few thoughts. I'm frustrated and waiting. I'm hopeful and waiting.
