ta-da (alt. title: crushes part tres)

Disclaimer: my topic is pretty girly and has no neatly wrapped conclusion. Proceed.

I've realized something about myself. An epiphany, if you will. And since it's SO important - gotta blog about it, obviously.

I've realized that I form crushes on the same guy every time. The.same.guy.

I mean, not literally. It's not the same person, but the same type of person. Why do I do that to myself? And I don't think I can chalk it up to having a "type". This goes beyond type. This is more about the fact that I sabotage myself by forming crushes on the same unobtainable, personable, but everyone-has-a-crush-on-him guy. What the what?

I have to admit. I'm a little peeved. Mostly peeved at myself. But peeved at those men out there that are so nice to everyone, creating an illusion of interest. Yes, I completely acknowledge my slight irrationality right now. Nice guys, don't stop being nice. But do stop pulling on girls' heartstrings only for it to mean nada. Please and thank you. (Interjection: is this my own fault? I may have to ponder that question).

Does this even make any sense? I'm rambling. But I think this is an epiphany that's been slowly sinking in the past couple weeks and completely came to a head today.

I think I'm finished for now.

forget me not

(swoon)

I picture the protagonist and his lady love walking into the distance with this song as the soundtrack. . .

moral relativism & freedom

"Relativism is problematic in that, if taken seriously, it can lead us to withhold resources that are important for moral growth. People do not learn to make responsible choices by being told that it does not matter what they decide, since one choice is as good as another. They learn to make responsible choices by learning to appraise arguments and consider evidence relevant to what they have to decide".

"Nothing about freedom follows from moral relativism..."

(taken from one of my texts, The Ethics of Teaching)

Interesting. After reading this, I was reminded of an acquaintance from back in the day... (I'm about to reference our favorite social networking site). He had written as his status on facebook something to the effect of "freedom is doing whatever the [expletive] I want".

But no. That isn't true on multiple counts. Even from a secular text, that isn't considered true. As people, we have the gift of reasoning, using resources, asking questions. As believers, we have a Heavenly Father who loves us enough to give us the freedom of choice, but outlined 10 very specific rules to live by.

So no, wayward acquaintance, freedom is not doing whatever the [expletive] you want. Freedom entails a balance with responsibility, saying no sometimes, and believing that "God never denies our heart's desire without giving us something better". (E. Elliot)

best moment of your life

The best days of your life won't be the ones you expect them to be, but they will happen. I remember being in the countryside in Virginia one day with friends having a picnic lunch and eating the best apple I have ever tasted. You won't know which moments will stand out for you later, you can't know. It doesn't matter - live them all anyway. Because right now is always the best moment of your life, and the time will pass anyway.

- what I wish for you: simple wisdom for a happy life, Patti Digh (I italicized for emphasis)

I was talking to a friend about moments that I felt really good, content. And it's true - you don't recognize those moments as they happen. I spent last summer by the neighborhood pool. Sometimes alone, sometimes with someone. I love the smell of Coppertone and with its sweet fragrance wafting, I settled myself poolside, book in hand. I read The Mark of the Lion series and The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society book. All of them made me cry. I tried to disguise it, as I was in public after all, but I realized it didn't matter. After sitting in the beating sun, sweat running profusely down my face, I look like one big puddled mess. And no one was really watching me anyway.

I learned a lot through those moments. About being content with being alone, allowing God to speak to me through books, and about the beauty of relationships.

artful moment of the day

With the Academy Awards approaching, I was reminded of one winner from a couple years ago. His name is Kunio Kato and despite his broken English, I think I enjoyed his speech the most. You should most definitely Google it if you get the chance.

His animated short film, La Maison en Petits Cubes (The House of Small Cubes) brings out the melancholy in me. It's only 12 minutes and despite having no talking, it speaks volumes. I felt a sense of loneliness, but also satisfaction as the main character looks back on his life.

crushes part deux

Remember when I talked about crushes? Yeah, that was silly. But oh no, the saga doesn't end. Not necessarily with that particular boy but just in general. In class the other day, the professor showed us a website on pbskids.org. There was a series of videos that could be shown to parents or kids on various topics - e.g. bullying, etc. One was also labeled "crushes". I laughed to myself.

But then it reminded me of this story from Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul. Remember those books? I think I owned like, 3 of them.

I found the story online. I have no idea how especially since I didn't remember the title and it's been about 11 years since I read it last. But it's here if you're interested.

Crushes. They begin at a young age and end when you say "I do". But I suppose you should always have a crush on your spouse, right? So to edit what I said: Crushes. They begin at a young age and continue forever.

finally a grown-up

me: "How old are you when you're a grown-up"?

3rd graders: "In ten years." (that would make them 18 and 19-years-old).

Awesome.

ponderings

Is it weird that I've had socks since middle school? And I still don't know how to ride a bike without hands? And how about the fact that I cannot (for the life of me!) know how to do cartwheels?

That aside, I feel very blessed. Year 26 is lookin' good...

Formula for a fun evening:

friends + chicken pot pie + 1 cosmo + late 90's music = memories

25 + 1

So close to being a quarter of century plus one years old. Is it that time of year again already? Did I ever think I would be twenty-six years old, ever?

What has happened in the last year?

- applied to grad school

- quit my job

- did some/a lot of soul searching

- got into grad school

- moved to a new city

- started grad school

- learn(ed)(ing) to see each day as an adventure

Here's to a new year of adventure and God's boundless grace on me.

And my latest song obsesh (obsession) is Ella Fitzgerald's "You Go To My Head". As I told my roommate: "if I ever dance with someone to this song, I would die - in a good way".

30 rock > reality tv

I could probably list 3,391 reasons why I love 30 Rock, but this little clip is one of the more subtle ones. Insightful, dry, and oh-so tongue in cheek: