It's amazing what we do out of feelings of insecurity or vulnerability. I feel exposed, insufficient, not enough. Maybe someone told me for years that I was nothing. Maybe I've been telling myself I'm worthless. I look in the mirror and I hate, hate what I see. I look around and everyone else seems to just... get it.
In almost every school I've been in, I interact with students of all shapes, sizes, personalities, and intellectual abilities. With such diversity comes students that really inspire me and others that make me shake my head. As a member of a minority group, I have experienced a fair share of racism from students. It amazes me, really. I cannot imagine, as a 17-year-old, making demeaning comments towards an adult for their race. When feelings of my own insecurity come bubbling to the surface, I remember it. I remember that that child, that 17-year-old child with the tough exterior, is very insecure.
Only someone who doesn't feel like "enough" will hurl arrows of racist remarks to someone they don't know. Only someone who deeply feels (whether consciously or unconsciously) a deep chasm of insufficiency would make someone else feel small.
Racism is obviously a big example of this. And not all are guilty of it. But we're all certainly guilty of acting out of our own feelings of insecurity. Whether it's not fully engaging that person we don't know very well who seems a little awkward. Maybe it's rejecting the kindly meant compliment of a friend. Or it could be the refusal to walk out the door without looking perfectly put-together.
I have to ask myself, "am I acting out of the overflow of being deeply loved by my Savior? Or am I acting out of hurt, fear, or insecurity?"
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