I'm reading through old posts - ones that go way back in the day - and I find myself seeing life through a somewhat skewed lens. "Man, I was really tracking with Jesus back then" or "gosh, I was really seeking the right stuff - really seeking truth." That is not true. NOT ENTIRELY TRUE. Yes, there were moments of really "eureka"-like clarity. Jesus is here. He is dwelling here, amongst us. But there were a lot, A LOT of moments of humdrum blah-ness. Moments of slugging through the bog, crawling through the deserts on my hands and knees. Feeling so... wasted. I feel like that right now. I see the cool springs and shady palms ahead, but I'm looking around me and feeling spent.
"I was feeding on the filth around me 'til my strength was almost gone." This is a lyric from the song "Satisifed." It's fantastic. And haunting. That line especially comes back and reverberates in my brain when I start to binge on such unsatisfying nothingness. Waiting for a call to hang-out, another 'like' for a recent Facebook status. Maybe buying a new pair of fancy shoes to feel/look better.
Only Jesus. Only Jesus can satisfy. He promised us good things so our youth is renewed like the eagle's. That good thing? It's Him. The best and most purest form of good there is.
I want to inject Jesus. Right here and right now into the midst of a day that feels wasted and desolate. Like a desert of dry, bleached bones. He is life. I've been called. I walk, even through the mire, with Him.
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