outta control

I really don't have a voice right now. Still. It's been about 4 days since I've had a voice that resembled the one that I normally have. Right now, it's scratchy and slightly reminiscent of a pubescent boy. Yeah, it's pretty bad. I've been sick a lot this past month. I'm not sure what it is, but the doctor told me that I've been unlucky to get 2 different viruses within such a short amount of time. Awesome. Go me.

As I've been coughing myself to sleep, I realize how blessed I really am - truly. I have a health insurance (although this comment could open a whole other can o' worms...moving on) and can go to the doctor if this pesky illness doesn't go away soon. I have a job and a car that can get me to that job.

It hasn't been an easy last few weeks. (And this again, would be opening yet another can o' worms if I expounded.) But through it all, I realize how little is actually in my control. I guess more often than not, this statement would freak
the living daylights out of me.

Control? I don't actually have any of it?!

But, no. I really don't have any control over many aspects of my life. It's in God's hands. And unlike many times before in which I've flippantly spouted out that cliché - I'm trying to think deeply about that statement. It's (and by "it," I mean every aspect of my life) cradled deeply in his hands. He's watching over it. And He cares for me.

Do I really believe this?